I Took a Shower Today and it Was Sort of a Big Deal

You’d think that feeling depressed would be an easy thing to identify, especially for someone who has been depressed in some form or another for almost her entire life. Pro tip: it’s not.

I can’t always recognize the feeling. So many of the things that make up my depression can be related to other things. Kind of like when you’re looking at a list of flu symptoms. Continue reading

#LoveWins, and It’s OK to be Happy About It

So yesterday, the Supreme Court (aka RBG and the Supremes) declared that a ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, countrywide, fuck whatcha heard.

This is a big fucking deal.

I spent a good part of my day yesterday crying. Some happy tears, some sad, all for my own reasons. Watching photos come in of couples that have been together for decades before I was even born, who never thought marriage would be possible for them, who had long ago resigned to a life of separate, of less than, of “we know what we mean to each other and that’s enough”. Continue reading


When I was working in a detox, I spent a lot of time talking about change. Namely, a person’s capacity for it. It was a common theme, and understandably so. Everyone in that building was (at least on paper) there to try to change their life in a radical way.

Admitting you want to change your life is easy. Admitting that in order to change your life you have to change yourself is…. less easy.

I saw so much doubt Continue reading

The Secret World of Katie Mack

There are many reasons why someone in or around the adult/sex community would choose to work under a pseudonym. It’s pretty common practice. Without doing a bit of research, I think it’s more rare to find someone using the name on their birth certificate.

When I decided not to use the name that had been mine for my entire life, it wasn’t necessarily from a place of fear, but that was definitely part of it. Like many others, I had Continue reading

You Keep Using That Word: Sex-Positive Edition

Sex-positivity, while a concept that has come into my life fairly recently, is also one that’s become pretty close to my heart pretty quickly. Quite frankly, it’s fucking important. It’s one of those things that I haven’t really heard anyone be able to articulate a strong case against. However, I have heard it thrown around wayyyyy too casually and with too broad a meaning for my liking.

As a term, “sex-positive” seems to be going the way Continue reading